写在外面总觉得很奇怪
实际上我通常都是偷偷记下
不过还是姑且给大家借鉴学习吧x
自己犯了一个很大的错
我意识到自己的思维方式开始变得多么奇怪
自己是如何变成想要“索取”的家伙
因为身体最近很差 睡眠时间也很短
但是因为和千里在一起很开心
总是想陪千里在一起玩 或者是想千里陪着在一起玩
结果睡眠时间越来越少 身体越来越差 精神也越来越衰弱
本来也许还是自愿和千里玩的
但身体越来越差了之后
玩的时间并没有减少
逐渐的自己开始在用身体健康在支出了……
于是开始觉得自己在付出了吧 付出的太多了 想要的东西变多了
想要对方无微不至的照顾自己
我可能会在各种细枝末节上找迹象
在我每产生一个想法后 好好对它思索 就会察觉到
【我怎么会这么想 ？我通常是会这样的吗？这样做是不是太奇怪了？】
试着去停止这种想法 还真是有点独特的体验 （会有点难的 毕竟这是精神上而不是物理上的操作）
想起来脑海里存在的一部分记忆
『Relationship bridge to the soul』的作者也说 他会找不到字条 或者记忆一片空白
「I have taped them to my refrigerator door, bathroom mirror and kept them by my bedside table. I have even taught courses on effective communication skills over the past ten years. Yet when an intense emotional issue arises in my close relationships, my notes are rarely around and my memory all but completely fails me. Conflicts are so packed with pain, emotion, anger, pride, fear, and guilt, that the temptation to revert to primal defence mechanisms can be overwhelming. In those times, willingness to be wrong seems to be the equivalent of daring my partner (i.e. “the enemy”) to blow my brains out. Being totally accountable for my behaviour and that of my partner’s is like admitting that I’m the bad guy and should be punished while at the same time relieving my partner of any culpability in the situation. When it comes right down to the intense heat, numbing coldness, or overwhelming emotionalism of a Power Struggle, it is difficult to keep a clear head. The guidelines, if remembered at all, seem flimsy or trivial, and we can lose sight of our heart’s goal altogether. So what’s the use of offering these pointers?」
「The above principles and guidelines are intended to open our minds to the possibility of absolute resolution of any conflict. Many of us never conceived of anything greater than compromise in interpersonal communication. We grew up with the slogan that relationship was a matter of “give and take,” whereas this model offers the possibility for “give and receive.” I don’t want to take anything from my partner—I’d feel like a thief. I’d much rather receive what she offers me freely. But even after reading these principles thoroughly, you may believe that it is only an ideal, something that works in theory but has no place on the planet, much less your own relationships. I encourage you to put these guidelines to the test. Listen to your partner as if it was your own mind talking to you. Take an emotional risk. You have nothing to lose but your righteous position and the uncomfortable tension of interpersonal strife. With the appropriate intention, these guidelines have worked for myself and many other people over and over again. I know their value.」
我想之后再好好地读一遍
然后这次会想试着做做笔记
总之 回到主题
我觉得再这样下去 任谁都会觉得我是麻烦的家伙了
我自己也会开始讨厌自己（不论是身体上还是精神上）
是的 好好生活是最重要的w
请大家也把好好生活放在首要任务上吧√
